These past two weeks have been so much fun! However, we've spent too much time enjoying each other's company and not enough time cleaning. Our dorm is a mess! It is not sanitary to go so long without a deep cleaning. If we continue to ignore the dust piles and the crumbs coating the floor, we're practically asking to get sick. With a klutz like me residing in a place where chairs and backpacks are strewed across the floor, one of us (especially me) is bound to trip which could lead to serious injury. Out of respect for each other, we should make a new commitment to clean up after ourselves and try to keep our place neat and tidy. Thanks for the great memories; here's to many more (and much cleaner) ones!
Emily
Emily I really liked this! I could see you sending this to your roommates, and it would be very effective. You presented the issue in a nice way, yet you were firm and direct. I just noticed one thing... You might want to use strewn instead of strewed. I think it sounds a little better. Also, good use of the semi-colon! Way to practice what we're learning! Very good job.
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I think you completely mastered the art of being polite, yet forceful in getting your idea across.
ReplyDeleteI like that you persuade them with a very cheerful tone. It makes them want to side with you!
ReplyDeleteThis is so perfect! I thought it was good that you centered your argument around something that effects all of you. Its hard to argue with your reasoning!
ReplyDeleteThis is how I feel! A very amusing paper. You did not come across as abrasive at all. Just a humble person that wants to live in a hygienic enviroment!
ReplyDeleteI like how you did not blame any of your roommates, but included yourself in the blame. It's a good persuasive device!
ReplyDeleteWay to start off with a positive statement acknowledging how much fun you have had. It's a good way to make your roommates happy before you tell them to be clean :)
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